lulu70

That is what I want! I get glimpses of self-love, and most often shoot myself down for them before I can even really enjoy it!

I really like what you said about playing god. If my higher power wanted me punished, it would happen. It is not something I need to do on my own. I am getting better, but it definitely a slow process.

I did do some things for me this week. First, I made the decision NOT to go on a trip for work that was causing me a LOT of stress. I didn't even realize how much stress it was causing me until I made the choice not to go. I also applied for my dream job this week. I knew there was an opening for about a week, but I wasn't going to apply because I felt like I HAD to stick it out at my current job for at least a year. (I just started this July.) I thought about it a bit, and decided that was stupid! I should not pass up such an opportunity because of some idea I had about what was right and what was wrong. I won't leave my current job without proper notice, and I don't even know if I will be offered the dream job, but to let the opportunity go by without even giving it a try seemed insane. I will keep you all posted on what I find.

I am feeling at peace tonight. Tired, but peaceful. That is a nice feeling. I don't have any plans for the weekend except cleaning and meeting with my sponsor. I am looking forward to a lot of R&R!!!

Love you all, working on loving myself--
Hugs--