Hi Lisa,
Sorry this reply took so long. As you are fully aware, oxy is a double-edged sword. It works, and then it works too good. You wrote that you would not do rehab, but what about detox? in conjunction with an addictionologist, detox from oxy may dramatically change your life and lifestyle. By having a good doctor involved in the entire process, alternative medications or therapies for your pain can be prescribed.
Do know that you are not alone. And that there are solutions to what you are going through. Let me know about your thoughts regarding detox, and in the meantime use these boards as support for what you are going through.
Hang in there, we're with you...