hayfrmr...sorry...I had no way of knowing that you had read those books....
But, now...out of my own curiosity...did you find anything of help, in them? any explanations for their anger?
LOL...I have known therapists...both psychologists and psychiatrists who had difficulty when their own situations were involved. In personal situations...objectivity often goes out the window....
Is one of the children willing to go to family counseling with you....?
Sometimes, I think that you just have to start with what you have......