I would suggest writing her a heart felt love letter, expressing the qualities she has that makes you love her uniquely. Apologize for what you are truly sorry for. If you can afford it, treat her to a spa day, no strings attached. Don't let her suffering be in vain. Be there for her come hell or high water. If you see an opening, give flowers, jewelry, plan a romantic trip. I am giving you the guide book here. She deserves it. I am telling you... she earned it.
I’m sorry but I have to disagree with you. If the spouse was just immensely hurt by everything that might work. But when your physically repulsed by your SO that is not going to work for most people. I know for me it would’ve done quite the opposite. Even now over a year later I can’t even fathom going to lunch with him one on one or a non romantic getaway just the two of us, let alone a romantic getaway. And buying stuff would just feel like manipulation and trying to push things along. Just like the RA needs his time and space so need the non alcoholic partner to recover. I may get to a point where I want to be with my RAH but I may not. Him trying to push things along by doing those things you recommend would be a sure way to push me away.