Maybe deep down I don't think I have a problem...
I drink 1 day a week, but I get black-out drunk usually. I can skip a week or two here and there. I think, deep down, I might feel like I am not really an alcoholic because I can go without. But...my logical brain knows its a problem because if I have more than 2 drinks, I cant stop myself. It's like I become someone else and my sole purpose is to get more.
I can't do rehab. I just can't. I tell myself I wont drink, and it might work a few weeks, and then my stupid brain goes "meh, you can just have one or two at dinner" and BAM its 12 drinks and I'm hung over as hell. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
What else can I do?