Why don't I want him to go to AA? I've read on this forum, and others, and research on the internet, and a few people we know who went through AA, they pretty much have to ignore everything else in life to concentrate on staying sober. And yea I know, don't believe everything you read on the internet. That's why I also talked to real live people.
Why do they get to continue being selfish, and why is it encouraged? They've already had their selfish period long enough, we've been ignored long enough. They can just suck it up and deal with real life while they recover like the rest of us have to do. We are weak too, from years of their selfishness. They got to play and be drunk and blissfully unaware. We are working just as hard as they are. If anyone needs to ignore life for their recovery its the spouses
In my experience, this is not true. Yes, sobriety and recovery need to be a priority, but that does
not mean ignoring everything else in life to stay sober. The first time I sobered up, I was fortunate enough to go through rehab and then on to sober living so I could focus on my recovery, but when I got sober again after my relapse, I had to suck it up and deal with real life while going back to meetings and working on getting well. I still had to take care of a household, pay the bills, and all that other fun stuff.
It's referred to as a selfish program because of the priority in life recovery must have--without sobriety what good am I to anyone else?
Working on my recovery-- practicing the 12 steps
enabled me to be present and considerate of others, to be able to shoulder my responsibilities in life like I should have been doing; not continuing on my merry way with no consideration of those things.
AA can give him a chance at a better life and contented sobriety, similar to how AlAnon will give you a chance for a better and more contented life too.