Originally Posted by
Wamama48 
Ok, I can see your point there. That does make sense. Then I guess my problem is him ignoring life while he recovers, when I am recovering from the problem he created. I need the break, he played around for years, and I'm desperate for relief. I now understand where so many RA's are handed divorce papers after they finally decide to do the right thing.
I hear you Wamama. In fact I agree with you. You do need that time just as much if not more than he does.
The truth is, sometimes in relationships things are just not fair (as you already know).
People talk about how there should be a place for recovering codies to go or just recovering spouses! Well there is in fact, I bet you there are retreats for all kinds of things. Problem being no insurance is going to cover that and who can afford to pay for a month or three at a retreat for anything short of a substance addiction?
Ok so none of that is really helpful, just wanted you to know that I get what you are saying, you are at the end of your rope and who is going to help you!
Only you.
Only you will help you. If you need time away from him, you are going to have to organize that, whether that is moving to an apartment or going on a retreat.
If he becomes so enmeshed in AA that it is completely placing all responsibilities on you, you need to express that to him. Maybe, just maybe, there are level heads at AA that will understand what you are saying and when /if he expresses this dilemma to them they will point him in the right direction, ie: AA cannot be his entire life.