Struggling today
I moved out about a week and a half ago. My husband and I have communicated periodically through email. Some of it has just been logistics (pets, finances, etc) while other email exchanges have been fueled by my emotions.
I left because I found out on one of the nights he didn’t come home, he went to a co-workers house and spent the night with her. He lied about it and only confessed weeks later when I had a gut feeling and showed him some proof that he was lying about where he was. While he insists nothing happened, I have a very hard time trusting him after years of his lies.
Tonight I am going to our place while he is out a few hours so I can spend time with our pets. All day I’ve been fantasizing about walking in the door, finding a meaningful gesture from him as an apology. Perhaps a letter apologizing or telling me how he can make amends. I know these expectations or dreams will never come true. It’s really heart breaking. My brain keeps telling me to leave, but my heart is really struggling.
I just needed to vent this and get it off my chest. Thanks.