It’s very sad that this is happening after 30 years and building a life together. The thought of divorcing and dealing with all that must seem like a nightmare.
I read a great ebook that you might want to read by a guy called Doug Kelley who was in the same place as you are now.
‘Alcoholic Relationship Survival Guide’ which can be downloaded from www.empoweredrecovery.com
I hope things work out for you.