Excellent points and questions.
At this moment, we've been together for over 30 years, work together and with grown kids so unwinding the relationship will be complicated.
She is keeping to her side of the road and me to mine seemingly going in different directions. She has not owned up the my discovery although she must have surely realized I found it.
I think a measured disconnection is happening. Each doing our own thing whereas we used to do everything together. As recently as last week. This is so unreal. She is being coached by aa members who have recently gone through horrible divorces. I guess misery loves company.
As far as I am concerned the marriage as it was is over as long as drinking, lying, justification for bad behavior and bashing me continues.
I am in no rush to serve papers yet. It may be inevitable. As of now it seems an in house separation is happening even if she doesn't realize it yet. I think she is playing a manipulation game whereas I am not. She just doesnt realize that yet. I think she thinks I am going to cave and apologize.
Not happening. This will either get better or worse. For now it is moving into worse territory for me. Its strange how unaffected my emotions are. I am quite calm about it all.