Originally Posted by
Rungirl2018 
That is so terrifying. I need to be scared. Please, everyone, scare me more. I really think I need horror stories to tuck away in my mind to use as a weapon in the beginning.
We all feel like hell after we've done something stupid. The most powerful tool is when it passes and you start having "the bad thoughts" again. This is when you need to reach out.
Go to AA, call your local addiction center or AA hotline, post here,...