Del, I am sorry that things have spiraled so out of control for you recently.
You are a intelligent woman but you are trying to juggle way too many balls in the air at a time with alcohol and prescription drug withdrawals and your eating disorder. Please, please, seek medical attention and make plans to get back into a treatment center asap. Your kids need a mother who is there for them, and not one whom is fighting off visions of the Grim Reaper at night. Do it for them, if not for yourself.
Hugs