The good news is, I have slowly tried to cut back on the clonazepam since last falls debacle. So I do still have some extra, because I am really afraid of being told no. Until I see psych. Which I can't seem to get another referral to.
And when I run out I have to go back and make my case for more and at this point I don't even want to try.
But I seem to have an understanding now. It's a lot frikken different than just getting sober, coming off benzos.
I am constantly in withdrawal just from cutting back, so I drink to make it better. And life and every other excuse.
I am ok and still here and lucid. For the next minute or so.
Jesus christ, there is a detox house in a city about an hour and a half away that I would drop all to go back to.
Free health care and counseling gets a person only so far. Everything else is a 17 hour wait and 15 minute rush through if it's not urgent.