Originally Posted by
C0nspiracy 
Appreciate the response man, you're probably right. Anything I say is an excuse. Just need to look at myself properly I guess.
The fact that you sought out, joined, and posted on a site named "Sober Recovery" says you already know what the answers to your questions are.
Listen to the side of you which says, "Do only that which is good for you."
I know I used to drink "at" exes too. It did temporarily numb out the sad/hurt feels from the breakup.
Then I would sober up and we were still not together. It takes a lot less time to get over hurts when I'm not drinking. I can process things very quickly now, but when I was drinking I just kept the resentments and misery going. Alcohol messes with brain function.