I know it doesn't help your situation that you are going through right now, but there are so many here who appreciate you. And love you. I wish we could give you a great big bear hug and make you some tea and sit and cry with you.
Originally Posted by
Ladybird579 
I'd not go there if you can help it. It will only upset you. Funnily enough today I called someone out on some stuff I had no actual facts for but was convinced they had done and said and discovered, to my horror, that I was right. I really wanted to be wrong. I am so sad and let down I was right I have sat crying most of the afternoon cos to know...absolutely.... how I was treated was not in my head was chilling and brought back all my feelings of worthlessness and made me go over old ground of things like why I get rejected for "better things" and why no one really wants to be with me. It took me to a very dark place I have yet to climb out of.
Fwiw my exah cheated on me with my daughter..his step daughter he'd been "dad" to since she was 2, ...which I found our after we split up but today's revelations from someone else were far worse. Exah's behaviour was par for the course. I realised today I have expectations of non alcoholics that I should not have either. Someone asked me today if I felt safe with them and my answer was no. I don't feel safe with anyone and I never will.
I'd just not go there in your head or by digging for evidence. It's hard enough recovering as it is.