chowchow

I keep waiting for this to be easier. I get so fed up with things and I want to drink. It would be so easy to get wine on the way home.

But it is funny how things happen and remind me why I decided I cannot drink:

1) Last night a co-worker called me and it was clear she was very drunk. It was not a pleasant call mostly because she was drunk and slurring her words and it was hard for me to follow. I was 100% sober.

2) Today another co-worker came in to talk and mentioned that she got very drunk with her 30 year old daughter a couple of weeks ago and they had a lot of fun until the next morning when her daughter woke up with an extreme panic and anxiety attack. Nothing apparently happened with my co-worker the next day.

I am taking these (as silly as it may sound) as signs that I need to keep on the path of sobriety even when I want to drink.

I've actually noticed my 12 year old daughter is spending more time with me in the evenings. She used to go to her room and not come out. My husband, well, is my husband. He is not a very nice or patient person but it is easier for me to just avoid him now rather than to get into confrontation (I never really was confrontational but he has always been super critical of me so if I am not around him (because I am drunk and can't go anywhere) I can avoid that. Not a good way to have a marriage but I am doing what I can right now.

I am writing this to also help keep myself accountable and NOT drink today.

Thanks for reading.