The awesome thing is that you’ve moved on! The hard part is over. You have gone NC.
If you find yourself ruminating on something he may or may not have done in the past, maybe it’s time to “change the channels.” Go for a walk, go to the store, listen to music, etc. gently say to yourself out loud “Sweetheart that man is not your problem any more! Yay! Move forward with your joyous and beautiful life!” Saying it out loud does help!
Love and hugs from Sailor