you are her spouse.
AA is a support group.
please don't make this another anti-AA rant.
if no one was allowed BACK to AA after drinking, there wouldn't be many attendees. the PURPOSE of AA is to help people learn how to NOT drink, with a recommended program to get to internal motivators.
that YOUR wife chooses to make YOU the bad guy is NOT an AA problem....it's a relapsing wife problem. you don't HAVE to be ok with her drinking, or with her trying to hide it from you. and if confronting her, makes her feel cornered well then so be it. that's HER reaction.