Hello all,
Iīve been a problem drinker since I was about 16, since the first time I touched alcohol, I knew I was different. When I start drinking, I just drink, and drink until all the booze is gone or I just pass out. Itīs been 10 years, now Iīm 26.
Now, as alcoholics are very good at hiding, my current girlfriend has no idea of it (we have been living together for 6 months now), our relasionship is great. I dont touch alcohol when she is home (only on social occasions, when she drinks as well, usually she just has a pint of cyder, she dosenīt drink much at all, I usually end up kinda drunk, but able to control my self to a level I dont end up too "*********").
I dont drink around her, because I have a past relasionship where I did, and she left me very-very heart broken, because of my drinking. I dont want my current one to know. I love her, and some day I would like to marry her. Nether I dont want to attend AA meeting, since Im afraid it might spook my current one away, since attending one would make it plain obvious to her, that I have a problem.
She works on a cruise ship,two weeks on and two weeks off. When she goes away for work I just start drinking. And I dont stop until she gets back. Then Im two weeks sober and repeat. I think she starts to get a hint that somethings is off. Asking why my hands are shaking, why I cant sleep. When she calls me, she often has caught me in time when my speech is very slurred etc. But not once she has been angry, just asking if im drunk? Then I just make up a lie and tell her that, I was just out with the guys, when accually im alone drinking at home.
Thinking about quitting altogether. If I can sting together 14 days on monthly basis, maybe I can quit for good....
