I could kick myself right now for staying this long.
Easy does it.
You have a plan. Your son's issues will be addressed and you both have many miles of road both smooth and rugged to explore together as you build your new happy safe and peaceful future.
I am my own worst enemy when it comes to judging me and nurturing my recriminations over decisions made too late, or actions not taken, oh man, it leads me to a generally deep miserable canyon where I stop trusting myself. I've found it's best to limit the Monday morning quarterbacking of my game of life, except in the most rational and helpful ways i.e.: not beating self up for things I cannot change, but tucking away the lesson, and telling myself I will do better and differently the next time because I have really learned this lesson the hard way! I seem to learn everything the hard way! *sigh*
The past is gone. You are free in this moment.
Condolences COD, hugs and peace....
B