Been sober for 5 days. On the brink of capitulation...
I’ve had 5 miserable days of work and withdrawal. It’s Friday night, I know exactly where my dealer is going to be in a few hours. Every cell in my body wants to go meet him, and then get drunk.
The voice in my head is making a very convincing case as to why this time is going to be ‘the last time’. But then it always does. I’m so close to making a deal with myself to just drink and not do drugs, or just smoke weed and not drink etc. I know where they’re all going to lead though.
I’ve got about 62 hrs of sobriety to kill before I go back to work. That’s plenty of time to try and figure out exactly what it is that normal people actually do with their time? Watch tv, go to the gym or mall or something? **** I hate my life sometimes.