Very sorry
I was cheated on too and alcohol was her excuse. I agree that counselling will help.
As a recovering alcoholic myself I speak from experience. Alcohol does make us horrible boyfriends/husbands. I have acted controlling at times. I have been verbally abusive. We've had some right screaming arguments in our house with cups, plates and phones being thrown up the wall. I've questioned if I myself am a narcissist. I do have aspergers ... which is problematic in itself but I was using alcohol to feel "normal". Self medicating.
It wasn't always bad. But when it was bad, it was bad.
I noticed when I stop drinking I changed. My mental stage changed. When I was abusing alcohol I would wake up with a hangover that lasted all day until I drank again at night. In the period without alcohol I was groggy, tired, stressed. I was constantly depressed. But as soon as I drank I was happy and alive again ... for the first few hours. I'd end up getting drunk at some point and I was either happy, or angry. One or the other. Depending on the events of the day.
This is one reason I will remain sober. For her. For my kid. They dont deserve it and if I can't do it for them I don't deserve them in my life.
I rarely speak about this, but I just wanted to put that out there. There is no excuse for what your boyfriend did. Cheating is the most hurtful thing a person can do.
fwiw I was a drinker and I never once cheated. I never understand people who use being drunk as an excuse. Even when I was off my face I still knew that I didn't want any other woman but my girlfriend. Also have to add I have never been violent towards my girlfriend either.