I just wanted to respond to something Code said (not that I don't value everyone elses comments - they mean the world to me.)
you can seem easy going and full of life and love it is inspirational to me and I wondered at times how you do it and I thought I want to be like that!
How do I do it? It's all about the bigger picture. Once I learned to get some perspective about my situation, all sorts of great things started happening, even if I didn't recognise them as such at the time. I am not defined by my relationships, particularly that with my ex. To view him as anything other than one part of my life would be to elevate him to undeserved importance. His actions are not personal. It's all about him and his sick and twisted mind. I am grateful that he has been the conduit for indirectly teaching me some very important lessons.