Originally Posted by Dropsie

So my big thing for me for my whole 58 years is procrastination and the chaos it creates, which ain't pretty. Not pretty at all.

A friend of mine who is a sage has been telling me for years that I wait to create the shame, which creates the chaos, that the chaos and shame create the negative energy that think I need to do the work or deserve for some other reason. Another way to say it is that I have become attached to the negative energy and/or the chaos and/or the shame/guilt.

So that what I need to do is to realise what I am doing and to identify the negative energy and that I need to break that attachment and realise that I don't need the negative energy and that I can do my stuff even better with positive energy.

So as I say I have heard this for years and accepted it logically, but I never really could apply it. Its really an addiction.

But now for the last week or so for some reason I can really identify the negative energy and for the first time I know what she means.

And it is true that I use this energy to do my stuff.

And I also now see that to create it I first have to create a situation that makes me feel shame, so by waiting too long to start a project, not paying my bills, etc. This shame then creates the chaos and the negative energy which I then use to fuel my work.

And that this is all similar to the pattern I had when I was drinking, which was another way of creating shame. You may not see the analogy but for me its crystal.

So now the next step with the procrastination is to not listen to the voice that says don't do it, and to realise that I can do it without the shame and negative energy created by waiting.

But when I type that I feel the same resistance as I used to when I said I don't drink and I will never change my mind. Which tells me that I have solved the puzzle of my life time, now lets just see if I can apply the solution.

I will not wait and I will not change my mind. The procrastination monkey is not me, and I have the power to do my stuff. This may seem silly to those of you who don't have a procrastination disorder, but there is a serious correlation with alcohol misuse so maybe some can relate.

It will be tough to break this pattern and ignore the monkey, but I figure if I could stop drinking, this should be do-able.

The monkey is not me, I will do my stuff, and I will never change my mind. I am running this show and I have the power to ignore the monkey!.

Hope you all enjoy the holidays in whatever way you do.

Now I am off to DO something! As my present to myself!!!