Originally Posted by OpheliaKatz

Tired, this is my first time posting on this thread and I am truly sorry for what brings you here. Your posts remind me of what I went through with my STBX husband. I tried to leave and then he sent pictures of himself to my phone... really awful pictures, and I let him move in with me because I thought he was going to die. I also wasn't the only one who thought he should move in -- the people around me repeatedly said, "look after Mr. Okatz" (even my psychologist, who was similarly enmeshed and not experienced with addiction, said this). Not only that, there was so much manipulation coming from him, I was not able to think to save myself. I also didn't know about SR at the time. I knew about Naranon, but for some reason was in denial about needing to go... I should have went, but hindsight is a b*tch. SR has since saved me from myself over and over since. Just reading other people's posts helps... so keep coming back.

Stage 4 addiction is really horrible, and it can seem to come all of a sudden, when in reality it's been building to this point for years. What has happened would have happened regardless of your actions -- you could not save her, no one could... not unless she made the choice to save herself... and it's possible she could not do that either. Please blame yourself for nothing. Not even letting her move in with you and then making her move out -- don't blame yourself for that either. Yes, we told you not to do it, but you did it because you had compassion and she took advantage of this. In many circumstances, when you are being played, boundaries come too late, and this can be cruel for both of you. In many other circumstances, compassion for people who are suffering is normal... a desirable quality. And it will always be a good quality, but addiction is so counter-intuitive, it boggles the mind. Please, I hope that you are able to direct some of that love towards yourself now, because you need it. You need to look after Tired now.

You are not to blame for anything. People make mistakes. She is a very sick person who did not want help. She would have gone into a coma at your place, on the street, at her mother's place... it would have happened eventually. Release her into the hands of her higher power and look after you.

Again, I'm sorry that this has happened. Please take care.