Newlywed617

Hello. I am newly married to an addict. He has a legal prescription for hydrocodone that he fills once a month. He takes the month’s worth of pills in under 2 weeks. It hypes him up instead of sedating him. He will also get a prescription for Tussionex (cough syrup w/hydrocodone) whenever he has a respiratory infection. It calls for 1tsp every twelve hours. It’s a large bottle and he downs it in about 4 days. It took me about a year to figure out what was going on with him and he finally came clean about his addiction. What happens to his personality after a few days on this drug is very uncomfortable for me. The first few days he’s on the drug, he’s very sweet, attentive, loving, complimentary. For the remainder of the time he is taking the drug, he becomes withdrawn/disconnected, selfish, sarcastic, mean humored, judemental, critical of my physical appearance, he will verbally and physically mock me, paranoid, restless, easily angered, and he loses all interest in sex. He tries to have sex occasionally, like he’s doing it because he thinks he should not because he wants to, but it never ends well. He can’t finish and sometimes spends way too much time trying to finish. I end up hurt and angry and he then treats me as if I’m being unreasonable and crazy. We were just married in June and less than a week after we returned from our honeymoon, he made his first critical comment to me about the double chin I apparently get when I look down to watch what I’m doing while cutting vegetables... he didn’t take any hydrocodone on our two week wedding/honeymoon trip, but the second we got home he started taking it. 5 days later the derogatory comment about my chin came out of his mouth. Until then, he had never been anything but loving and complimentary about my physical appearance. Since then, he’s made a few derogatory comments about my facial expression during sex. He also is VERY weird about his internet privacy. He clears his history every single time he closes internet activity. I know he looks at porn, (not that he’ll admit it, but I’ve come across it) he also claims to have never been on Facebook or any other social media, but the data usage on our cell phone bill says otherwise... all he can think about when he wakes up every morning is about what he needs to get done so that he can commence to partying. He drinks every afternoon/night of the week. The only time he lays off drugs and alcohol is a couple of days before he gets blood work done. Which he does every 6 months. Or for a day or two after he spends 2-4 days binging. He has told me that he wants to quit the hydrocodone, but he will not discuss it with his doctor and he refuses outside help. He says that he can do it on his own and that he’ll party if he wants to but that he can’t stop once he starts. He is more worried about appearances than anything else when it comes to ending his addiction. He also works in the medical field and own a small medical related business and uses that as an excuse to why he won’t go to rehab or seek help. He won’t have an income if he isn’t working... He knows he’s an addict and he knows that 8 months into our marriage, I’m getting ready to leave because of his addiction. I love him and am more than willing to help him and support him if he choses to get off at least the hydrocodone. But he won’t do it. I would love to see him completely sober. He’s an amazingly compassionate, loving, caring, funny, sweet, strong person when he isn’t pumping all of this **** into his body. The alcohol doesn’t effect his personality like the hydrocodone does. The hydrocodone turns him into a cold callous selfish person and I don’t trust him. Period. And when he is out of his drugs and has a few weeks until he can fill his prescription again, he goes through withdrawal and that is as hard to deal with as the ugliness of the high. He becomes very clingy and needy like a child. We are both pushing 50 years of age and I am not an unattractive or insecure person by any means but this cycle of addiction and abuse is wearing me down. Do any former addicts here have any suggestions for me on how to handle working him into agreeing to rehab?