Loneshewolf.....about your husband's "quack"......I actually believe that he is telling you his truth...that he enjoys drinking....When people are first drinking...it is not because it makes them feel bad...in that moment...to many people it really DOES feel good. It loosens the inhibitions, numbs their anxiety or any feelings that might be bothering them...all the problems are on the shelf and out of sight, for that time. this period can last for a long, long time..especially for a young and healthy person, in the beginning.....
The sticky wicket is, that, after a period of time...as the person's brain crosses over that line into physiological and psychological addiction....they no longer choose to drink to feel better...they NEED to drink to feel better...in fact, they need to drink just to feel "normal". The pleasure of drinking is gone, for the most part, and the person has to drink just to exist.....
At that point...the person is trapped by their need to drink....and, all of their efforts have to go into protecting their ability to still drink.....I think that becomes the arena where the spouse of loved ones throw up their hands and say...."I don't even know who he/her is, anymore!"
"First the man takes the drink...then, the drink takes the man"