emma5920

Hi I have posted before, but somehow went back into my endless cycle of messing everything up for myself. I go out about once a week, but I black out almost every time. I don’t know why I do this to myself. At the moment I am sat in my room trying to avoid everybody because I don’t want to hear about the stupid things I’ve said and done. My head is sore, so I must have fallen over and hit it, my body is slowly giving up on me, and I’m ashamed, embarrassed and I feel like I’ve let myself and those who love me down. A lot.

I turn into a different person when i drink, someone I don’t even recognize and somebody I absolutely despise. I feel ill thinking of what I am capable of becoming and it’s ruining my life. I NEED to quit. I need to stop and accept I have a problem. It’s ruined relationships, with someone telling me that I basically need to sort myself out before anyone can be with me. This guy was someone I was in love with and it stabbed me in the heart.

Please help me. I am at university and I don’t know how I can still have fun without the drinking side, I don’t have hobbies in particular and all my friends enjoy that lifestyle... but they can handle their drinks. Once I start I don’t stop.

Please please can someone give me advice or just a shoulder to cry on. I’ve reached an all time low and I’m worried I’m going to lose everything and everyone.

Thanks and I apologize for the long message. I needed to get it out!