Originally Posted by
asixstringnut 
I didn’t make it 3 days. I now realize that I have no control over alcohol. I use to be a problem drinker but now I believe I am a full blown addict that cannot stop drinking. I tried rehab, I have tried AA, I have tried almost everything know to man but I keep coming back to the drink. I am not going to make pitiful excuses as to why I drank last night. I drink to try to blot out the pain of loneliness and feeling of being useless.
This is not how I envisioned my life to be but here I am. I just can’t seem to get a grip on quitting.
The song Helpless by CSN&Y is playing in the background on pandora as I write this. I give up. it has become such an embarrassment for me to even post on here anymore.
asixstringnut
Sorry to hear that sixstring. Interestingly enough, you say that you aren't going to make any excuses as to why you drank last night, but then you did exactly that in the next sentence ( I drink to blot out pain, lonliness, feeling useless, etc ). I don't say that to call you out or shame you, because all of us did exactly the same thing at one point. But at face value, all of those things are excuses - drinking makes all of those things worse.
So where do you go from here? Quitting posting would be a pretty bad idea - kind of like cutting off your nose to spite your own face like they say. Rehab and AA did not work last time - but that doesn't mean they wouldn't work this time.
Perhaps the reason none of what you are doing is "working" is because you aren't letting it. Getting sober is hard work, and many times we want the recovery method to "fit" our lifestyle and dictate what we will or won't do. No matter what path you take, getting sober is going to require you to do things you don't want to do, and make you do uncomfortable.
So refer to your own signature if you need some inspiration - "don't ever quit trying to quit".