For me, It was a process.
The mentally of anger is okey or natural, changing my old ideas
of anger was bad or there was something morally wrong with me.
Being taught or raised that way, that process was a challenge in itself.
U know.....girls don't get angery and boys don't cry.
But my elders/care taker never took the time to go into greater details.
Which lead to a behabits/ behaviors of surpressing one's feeling.
" just behave dame it..or you're going to get it"
I was label as passive/agressive. WTF is that.lol
mmmm....a walking time bomb perhapes.
Coming down off of critty too.
My state/being was of rag in early recovery..I was pissed at everything
and everybody. And people telling me to do this, this way or that way,
this is the right way, read the F@#'in BOOK, work the steps.LMAF
Well, all my life I was told what to do, raised by a strick deciplinary
I joined the USAF to kept the familary's tradition going.lol
God sent an angle.lol An elderly gentalman tolded I didn't need
to do a GOD damn thing in recovery. For the first time in my life
someone actually told me that...It was a relief from hell.
As I grew in recovery.
I Accepted the fact that anger is also ADICTIVE.
Our bodies has natraul or produce chemicals.
Many times is my life I put myself in situations or work myself
up into a state of rag. A MIND STORM.
The effect are the same as of outer chemicals or drugs.
I found myself in blackouts or a state of being dis-connected
from anger/rag. And we all know...shiet be flying, soul damaging words included. I broke everything in my home before.
Then a couple of hours past....Holy sheit!!! Why did i do that?
Depending on the level of my conducts, sometimes outter forces comes knocking.lol
There's many, many outlets ,stratigies or tools I learnd or
giving to me.
It's something more realitic that i can apply in my life or
harminize to my personality. In the heat of the moment
it's more praticle.lol
F*&K IT.....serenity prayer short form
SHEIT HAPPENS.....page 449 short
A spritaul awaking that changed so many lives.
BW sitting in a room as the light shines down upon him.
A wisk of wind rush through his head.
mmmm...I wonder if he was smoking at the time.lmaf
Thanks Ann
I'm still teach able today.