I get EXACTLY what you are talking about (I quoted you below regarding the part I am talking about.) We are in the same boat, going on autopilot until we just couldn't take anymore. Great minds think alike huh?
" By that time the non alcoholic was done enough to walk away so obviously the warm fuzzy feeling we once had , or what was left of them at that point, have mostly disappeared otherwise we would not have made that ultimatum. That made a lot of sense to me and it gave me some more clarity on why I feel the way I do and why I still have a lot of resentment I guess. No one was important enough in his life to give up the bottle until it affected him personally. And then he just expected everything to be just fine because he was all good now and I should be happy. I also never realized how and to what extent it had affected me until this past year. I guess it is that whole autopilot thing that I did for so long until I had enough."