I can very much relate to what the therapist said. Thank you for sharing. It makes a lot of sense. There was __ number of YEARS of damage stacked up, each one a thin layer. One thin layer stacked on top of another for years. Then the tower couldn't hold itself up anymore and fell, shattering into hundreds of pieces.Those pieces wont just disappear. They have to be painfully picked up one by one. There is no timeframe, but suffice it to say it will take a very long time to pick up those pieces. And the pieces may never be picked up, they might just lay shattered on the ground, unable to be moved. That's the analogy that came into my head.
Originally Posted by
Spence7471 
Just wanted to share some insight...
I have done a lot of reading about the survival of relationships after addiction recovery... one thing that struck me hard was this...
In family counseling, the recovering addict with a couple months sober was commenting on how his wife did not trust him and was not very welcoming.... the therapist asked the man how long he had been in active addiction.. the man said 15+ years.... The therapist then went to point out that he was only 2 month sober... so the amount of time to do the damage was much longer than the recovery time being given their partner to recover... the husband then just sat quiet having gotten the point.
Long winded I know, but the point is, often times the recovering addict expects things to change right away... not realizing that like themselves, it will take time to recover/heal/restart the relationship... years of damage can simply not be repaired in months.
Recovery, whether it is addiction or relationships, takes time, and most of us want instant gratification..... patience is a virtue... one that most of us could stand more of. I know I could.
T