Starr

Haven't been on for awhile, not that I posted very often, my daughter now has my computor. But I could sure use some advise, please.

I feel totally trapped. I want out of here so bad. I have no job. My husband has my car because his is not running and doubtful it will get fixed. I live too far out to ride a bus. I have no where to go. I just don't know what to do. I feel trapped.

I need a good job where I can support myself. I have no real skills. I have no money to go to school and as far as fin. aid. been thru that trying to get kids college money. And back to the car situation, no vehicle To look for work and what can I do that will be more than min wage?

Last night I stood on the corner of a store in town waiting on my daughter to pick me up. I'd been backpacking, was dirty and backpack sitting there. People looked at me with disgust (thinking I was a street person) One guy offered me a cigarette. Several times this summer this has happened. And I think...At least living at home I have a roof over my head, I'm not homeless, I have food, I have insureance but I hate living with someone so angry with me all the time, either doesn't talk to me or has nothing good to say. I can't just stay home all the time anymore like I did when the kids were home.

I just feel so trapped and don't know what to do. He will soon be on winter lay-off and how I dread him being around and angry all the time. Him having my car and me without. I just can't do it again this year. I just don't have it in me anymore. I said I will never have another Christmas like last year and here it is almost winter. Last Christmas eve he was so angry with me (how dare I stop at a stop sign where he thought none existed) He came out of the bedroom every few minutes to get mad at me for something. I was just ready to leave (I did have a car that time) I called my girls to tell them where there gifts were and told them If he yells at me one more time, where I'd be. He fell asleep and why was I angry in the morning?

I know no one will have have any answers, but I don't know what to do. If anyone has any thoughts I'd appreciate any. I won't be aback on the computor for awhile but will check next time I walk to my mother-in-laws house, where my comp is.