Originally Posted by
Nata1980 
Yep. Same here - listen and support and being continuously blamed for not listening and not supporting enough (I never got any answer when I asked what would he like for my support to look like). Still blamed for not listening, which is when I like to remind him that it’s no longer my circus and he should share with those fine folks “who understand”.
I wish that I could cut all the contact - but we have a son together.
I laughed out loud at the “circus” and people “who understand” comment. So, so true! The minute he started with AA it was non stop me me me talk and before he was even 30 days sober he was talking about becoming a sponsor. I know AA is a wonderful program for so many, my best friend is a recovering alcoholic and is active there, however, some narcissistic types are drawn to the ego feed of the non stop self assessment.
Before admitting his alcoholism he dove hard core into a little church we went too. Non stop volunteering, gave them 6k in one year without asking my opinion. When he got frustrated with the pastor (who we were friends with) for not following his advice, he ended up quitting. Then his alcoholism went into high gear and then the first affair. Guess once he didn’t get his ego fed at church he needed it fed somewhere else. Jerks.