Sasha,
Huge kudos for you in seeing this discord inside you. Awareness. Check!
How about Acceptance? To simply sit with these feelings... to let them be welcomed to flow through you. I'm working on Identifying faulty core beliefs and as painful as they sometimes are to look at, to let them be and simply observe them... this is a very big step in reprogramming them.
Action... how is your self-care today? (((Hugs)))
When things get jumbled up, shook up, tripped up... good things inside of me get a little more freedom somewhere along the line.
FREEDOM by any means possible. First step: to be aware of the wounds and bondages.