It's like PTSD.... you don't see the triggers coming but suddenly you're in the middle of a freakout you can't seem to get a grip on.
This is a perfect example of the kinds of things I could never prepare for & found that mantras were so important to help rewire my synapses away from that damaging thought/reaction to a safer, happier, non-reactive space. It just takes constant repetition to build the habit & drill the changes down deeply enough into your hard-wiring.
In this sense, our brains are not much different than computers - we simply have to figure out a way to rewrite the coding.