Do you have a sponsor yet? It might help you with working through this resentment toward your neighbor. Seems like that is really eating at you. As addicts I believe we like constant abuse....sick but kinda true. I mean, my active alcoholism was the worst form of abuse. So it makes sense that even tho your neighbor is a douche and terrible for you, you would still 'miss' whatever it was you were getting out of it (attention, drama addiction?).
Its time to learn new ways of thinking and coping. Actively taking part in your thoughts and feelings, challenging what you are thinking that is toxic and replacing it with new ways of interacting with the world. AA can help you with that.