Hi Coldbrew,
I know how much it sucks to feel that way. I usually had the same debate on Monday mornings. I don't have those awful moments now. Went to an AA meeting tonight and was with many others that don't have to feel that way anymore either.
There is definitely hope. Keep posting here. you will receive much support and encouragement. I'm not sure that anyone can tell you whether to go for inpatient treatment or not. I know it has been very helpful to many here. I stopped on my own eight months ago by going to AA meetings.
Good to have you here!
Jup.