Neoo- no you are not a disaster. You did what you have to do- did not touch booze, you are spreading your professional wings and trying new stuff..a new life. I know this is a poor analogy (or whatever) but consider this..I have had 8 addresses in the last 2 years. The hardest 2 of my life. No family, money, possessions or home. I am waiting for the new unit- which took a lot of effort and hard work to reach..the housing people took a long time to agree to me being allowed into the whole game- be-c I am co-titled on the family home I have not seen since my burns.
I was told end of this week I will move in. I spent 15 hours that day- packing and cleaning. First thing Monday morning- I was told it is delayed- because that is what happens in large organisations, be it paper work or staff or whatever.
I cannot change this- so with clumsy grace I accept it, and focus just on today- the next hour, the next meal- the next activity.
My life is not over. Memories and thoughts and feelings do not change what has happened. The die is cast so I have to wait.
Now- it is a poor comparison be-c your stuff is courts and stuff. But you have done so well up to now, being upset is natural, but your life is still there- we are still here..the world still turns.
Now hopefully, I can keep with my oh so wise words- if there are any more delays!
Support to you my friend. Give yourself some breathing space..go and treat yourself to some really great food, or a movie or whatever.