Originally Posted by
CentralOhioDad 
I'm not sure that he knows that she does have a problem, she drinks mostly after he's gone to bed. he knows she drinks wine every night. He knows that COD is the only one who comes to him if he calls for someone.
He knows that she and I have issues.
She will probably say that alcohol cannot be discussed. She's said before that I can discuss any issue I have with her (which is an outright lie - she's perfect), but I cannot bring up alcohol! Wacko.
Trust me, he knows.
And i'm sorry, I actually laughed at that last paragraph (not at the situation, at the absurdity of her request).
Well, she is not your conductor - at least you can be grateful for that! You can say whatever you like. You are obviously a thoughtful person and I just know you will handle this well.
One thing I have observed here at SR in reading friends and family posts is that parents who are honest with their children maintain (by and large) a solid relationship with them.
Those that chose to "protect" the alcoholic, in some cases, end up estranged from the children, even when they become adults. The non-alcoholic parent is left to their own devices while the children rally around the alcoholic, because really, they do need help (perhaps just not the help of their children).
I think if you aren't forthright you risk making the alcoholic out to be the victim. If you don't tell the truth then they will make their own conclusions.