As a daughter of an A father here's what I wish my Mom (or any responsible, loving sober adult!!!) had told me:
Your father is an alcoholic (and then an explanation of what alcoholism is, and what addiction is).
It's not your fault (you didn't cause it, you can't control it, you can't cure it).
It makes it hard to be in a trusting relationship, this doesn't mean we don't love Dad, it means that his alcoholism complicates our expressions of love, and complicates the growth of our relationship.
I don't have all the answers, and I am struggling too, but I am always here for you to talk and try to find answers to any of your questions.
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Boy would that conversation have changed my life for the better - and I often wonder (fruitless anxious wondering!!) if it might have helped my 3 brothers avoid becoming As themselves I'll never ever know .
Peace,
B