Being sober, while a miracle to me, is kinda what is expected by most people as a minimum requirement for just showing up for life.
This is exactly how my spouse views it. As recovering alcoholics, I think the best we can do it to get as much support as possible from people who understand. And for me, and it sounds like for you...our spouse may not be it. That's OK. Just don't do what I've done, which is to use your spouse's lack of support as an excuse to drink "at" them.