Originally Posted by
nigey1 
I am now sober 5 weeks which is quite an achievement really. It has been much tougher than last time. That felt like a change and a weight lifted but this feels like white knuckling My emotions are scattered, not sleeping and the depression and anxiety are through the roof and I get frustrated and angry and emotional at random stuff. I feel totally out of control and if I am honest a bit scared.
He nigey, there is something about what you wrote there that really touched me.
It was like that for me for some months. I don't think it matters that the experience of stopping is different this time round, just that you are stopping and have stopped for 5 weeks. And that's nothing short of a miracle when you don't feel much relief yet. But you will. I'm almost 9 months now and starting to feel some amazing clarity of mind and purpose to my life. I didn't get back who I was before. I think I'm getting someone better.
If you accept your path will be more like endurance racing for a little while, this time will pass easier. You poisoned your brain for a long time and it has to have your patience in healing. I couldn't Keep It In The Day. I would say to myself "I am sober this second" and it was enough. I must look up how many seconds have passed since then! I think trusting what people said on the site, trusting that it will get better, is what got me through.
A big hug for you and Keep Going!