My gf(now ex) liked to throw the "you're an alcoholic" at me in early sobriety,with a drink in her hand. I just let it go and focused on myself. Did I mention ex? LOL Not sure about your relationship,but ours pretty much revolved around bars and parties. Hell..we met at a bar and me getting sober was taking away her drinking buddy. Also probably making her examine her drinking habit. Anyways..we drunks do cause a wake of destruction sooner or later that affects others and I suppose we must 'pay' for it in some fashion and it takes time to build trust back.
Edit: Have a read around the friends and family forum. That really helped me realize what my drinking was doing to those who really wanted what's best for me.(Not my ex)