Hello - In about an hour I'm going to my first Alanon mtg. My RAH is in AA and has decided I'm now toxic for him and has moved out. Tomorrow he's got a moving truck coming.
I asked him today if this separation is permanent and if he plans to stay faithful to me while we work on our problems. He says he's not in a place to have this conversation with me at this time and starts God blessing me. Won't give me any answers. Mind you, he has only spent 30 min total with our 10 yr old and 9 yr old in the last 2 weeks while he rediscovers himself in a hotel room, he gets his apartment on Friday.
I guess I understand now that he isn't planning to work on our marital problems any time soon. He needs to focus on his sobriety and I need to focus on fixing the anger and co-dependency issues I've had towards him for a long time. I would spend money behind his back and I've admitted my financial infidelity and have asked for forgiveness. He says he forgives me but I'm having a hard time believing that. Before this separation he cheated on me in the midst of his drinking and even left me and our two kids for a brief time. When he came back begging for forgiveness and admitting his affair I didn't kick him out, I didn't want to lose my family. Since then (early Dec) and now he's become more and more distant with me to the point of moving out. We've had some fights in between but this makes no sense.
Now that he's working on his sobriety I am suddenly the root cause of all his problems? He gets to just walk away and leave me holding the bag? I know life isn't fair but this is just cruel
