Jewelstar, it sure seems like we are in the same, exact boat.....trying desperately to stay above water. I am happy my husband is focusing on recovery, but angry about the situation it leaves me in. Home, alone, caring for our house and 3 boys, all while working full time. It is hard and it hurts. While it is easier with him out of the house, I still miss him like crazy, even after all he has put me through. I still miss the marriage I thought we'd have. It just doesn't seem fair and I just can't let go. I am not ready to give up hope.