i wish i could share with you what it was like for me at 30 days sober.....but i really have very little recall!!! i just attended a LOT of AA meetings, every day, at least one. that was about all i could manage. i think i was working, yeah pretty sure, but again.........it was all a fog.
notice that YOU felt he was at his most LOVING while he was drinking. you said towards the end he was drinking EVERY DAY. so he was NEVER sober. always under the influence. so all the cuddly stuff.....that was all thru his haze of alcohol.
getting sober is tough. getting sober AGAIN is tougher. he doesn't know his behind from a hole in the ground right now. best to give him space, leave him be. he'll either come around.........or not.