Boyfriend acting really distant emotionally and Physically. About 30 days sober.
My boyfriend and I will have been dating a year in February. When I met him, he was 2 years sober. We clicked instantly. We both said it was our best relationship we’d ever been in. Best friends, great sex, completely trust him and all of that amazing stuff. About 3 months in, he decides that he wants to try drinking casually and me, not knowing anything about alcoholism, well I am a bit concerned but I trust him to know what he can handle. Fast forward about 7 months and he’s drinking every day. Not getting wasted, just consistently taking sips of vodka every couple of hours. He decides it’s out of control and he has to get sober again. That was about one month ago. Prior to this he was very loving and I knew how he felt about me. We had a very intamate and close relationship. We saw each other every day or at least took every opportunity that we had to be together. If we didn’t get to hang out, he would call. Now, 30 days into sobriety its been a complete downward slope. I have talked to him a handful of times while trying to remain supportive and understanding of the fact that his healing comes first. But it’s getting so bad. We were having sex at least once a week in the first 3 weeks of recovery but the last time I was there, he didn’t even kiss me. We always cuddle when watching movies and this time he sat on the other side of the couch the whole time. That was Sunday. I left Monday morning and I asked him to please call and text me. I’ve gotten almost nothing from him since I left Sunday which is so unusual and it makes me feel like ****. It’s such a 180 from where we were. When I talked to him about it he said we were too co-dependent before and he feels guilty about all of the other people that he’s shut out during the past year but that it’s not my fault. I understand that he’s going through a lot physically but also trying to rebuild his other relationships but I don’t understand why I’m the first one to get pushed aside. I know this all sounds selfish but I have been so supportive and been there for him through so much and I feel like instead of him seeing and appreciating that, he’s pushing me away like I’m a problem. It feels horrible and I don’t know if I should walk away or if that would be me abandoning him while he’s struggling with this. I’m scared too that maybe he only loved me when he was drinking and now he doesn’t love me anymore, sober. Has anyone else been through something like this? Please let me know.