Others judging me tells me a lot more about them than about me.
I know that I cannot ever drink again; I am completely accepting of this simple fact. I can't control what others think or how they act. I've got enough to worry about, so to speak, for me and mine, and for those whom I might be of service to in my recovery (which for me equals my whole life, as that's the basis).
I also heard early on that "no" is a complete sentence. I for one didn't have a problem saying no- I also didn't spend time with folks who'd even question it. I gradually shared my story, in varying degrees, until I publicly came out with being a recovering alcoholic for purposes of the restaurant industry recovery group I run and between 14 mo and present, 23 mo this wkd, I have become completely transparent and open with everyone - I don't provide gory details but am well versed in sharing my story.
Finding what works for me to keep me sober was the key. Simply put, I don't give anyone a seat at my table unless they are trying to live their own best lives. And that definitely includes kindness and compassion to others, certainly to me as their friend as I extend such to them. Anyone else is really of no consequence to me in terms of my recovery.