Thank you
[QUOTE=dandylion;6749773]ingquiringmind....living under the same roof with an newly sober person can be hellacious.....even worse than the original drinking period, itself......
He would benefit from a full year (at least), of living separate to focus on his own sobriety.....
Meanwhile, it gives you time to learn, and to gain more personal insight into yourself and your own needs....and putting your and your children's welfare as the first priority...
There are no gurantees of the marriage...but, it has a better chance if both of you get stable and healthy (and sober).......
If you are interested, there are a couple of books that I can suggest.....
Also....since knowledge is power...I an giving you the following link to our extensive library of articles on alcoholism and the effects on the loved ones....
there are enough for you to read an article every day...lol....
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Dandylion - Thank you for posting this. I, like InquiringMind, have a RAH who has told me he wanted a separation after about 38 days sober. We still found ourselves fighting here and there about his pre recovery affair and his anger towards my spending/lying about money issues that ultimately had a lot to do with my co-dependence on him and his alcoholism. He has been staying in a hotel and moves into an apt on Friday.
On one hand I'm happy to be rid of the drama, its also annoying me that he's suddenly this wise and holy expert on his disease and that somehow justifies him abandoning myself and our two kids. He has spent a total of 30 min with them in the last 2 weeks.
I know I sound selfish and I should sound excited for his recovery but I'm obviously still angry yet don't want a divorce. He hasn't said the D word yet and I've made it clear I don't want him back in the house any time soon, it still hurts like hell though. He gets to run off to explore himself while I'm left alone to parent the kids more than I was when he was drinking. Your post about separating for at least a year really helped me to remember that nothing is going to improve unless we both get better. It is the right thing to do even though I don't like it.
Have you heard of any success stories about couples reconciling after the separation?
InquiringMind - I so feel your pain. You are NOT alone.